and we wait.

22Sep08

i wish i could take a photo of the scene here in the community center out here in St. James, Missouri (or ‘Missura’, as the locals say).  i’m sitting in a sea of folding metal chairs, chairs i’ll be spending most of the night in as well.   i should be reviewing my story idea and portfolio that i used to get in, but everyone came around the same time and we’re totally out of time.  ah, time.  we’re under such a constraint here, and yet it feels like it’s creeping along.  i know by wednesday, i’ll be wishing for more.

it’s technically day two, since yesterday evening we started with registration and a welcome dinner.  i shot my test card half yesterday and half today, and i’m concerned that they’re going to say “they’re all the same” for my portraits.  i know they are, and that’s not good.  i was so concerned with getting good shots, i played it too safe.  silly me.

my story idea is panning out well . . .  at least, for now.  we’ll see what happens once i go through the gauntlet – i mean, go through my first story review.  i’m nervous they’ll say no and i’ll need to follow one of my other ideas that aren’t as flushed out as this one is at this point.  and, if i get this story, it’s going to be brutal.  seriously hard.  i’m worried i can’t handle it.  best way to learn is to jump in the deep end, huh.

i just moved outside, in hopes of finding something a little less hard to sit on.  i’m sitting on the curb.

brilliant.

i hope i’m not the only one who hasn’t gotten a chance to talk with my instructors.  although i’m really nervous about it, i really need feedback.  there’s such a conflict in my head going on right now – am i really good enough for this?  can i really do it?  and then i remember that yes i can.  it’s just a matter of getting out there and doing the best i can do.  yes.

i hope to be able to post some photos of the town soon, but i haven’t gotten the wireless working at the hotel yet.  perhaps later.

time to go in and find out if i can be seen now, later, or if i just have to wait until tomorrow.

remind me to bring something to sit on for tonight’s program.  i need to find a sweatshirt anyway.  it gets cold here in Missouri!

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